How do you tell your current husband that when you die you want to be burried next to your 1st husband?

who died.





Hypothetical question, but it must happen quite a bit.





How would you tell them that without hurting them?How do you tell your current husband that when you die you want to be burried next to your 1st husband?
my mother in law has this predicament both husbands are dead but she has children with both my partner being from her 2nd marriage so it's for them to see that her wishes are carried out and she's quite honest about it she loved them both but in different ways and wants to be buried with her 1st who was her 1st love it makes me cringe when she discusses it around my partner and his sister but it one of those things and we can't help how we feelHow do you tell your current husband that when you die you want to be burried next to your 1st husband?
I know someone who had bought burial plots for herself and her late husband. When he died, she had him buried there, but then she remarried. When that husband died, she had him buried in her spot and when she dies she's going to have herself cremated and the urn buried between the two husbands. Might make for an interesting afterlife for the 3 of them, but husband #2 was okay with the arrangement beforehand. Of course, you'd have to have already bought the plot, but if you did, it's a solution.





In case you're wondering, said lady has stated that she absolutely will not get married again--she's run out of plots!
Well for one, DON'T put it in your will! Because when you are dead, and husband number 2 see's it, what is he supposed to think??? That you never loved him! You always loved your first and were pining for him even when you were (Pretending. I know you never pretended but he might think that) Loving him? No. I know you love both of your husband's and it is hard for you to tell your current one that you would like to be buried with number one. If it his second marriage as well, then maybe you could work it out that he is buried with his first as well. Or maybe if there is some space in the graveyard you can have one husband on either side of you!? Give it time, and find the right moment to tell him. But above all, remind him that you love him, and you would die for him, and they are both special in their own ways, but your first husband was not necissarily better but you would like to be buried next to him.





Hope this helps, and hope you can work something out!
I suppose I would just be honest about it. When the time was right and the subject was brought up, I would simply mention that I would want to be buried next to my 1st husband. If he got angry, I would say that it's nothing against him, it's just that I want to be buried with the first man I married. They would probably be hurt, but over time get over it. But personally I don't see why I would even want to choose my first one over my second one, what about next to both of them?





I suppose I could always not mention it at all, just put it in my will. He'd be annoyed, but by then I'd be dead so there wouldn't be any conflict.
If you don't care about what he think, he will not be hurt.


Like me, my bf said he likes me and he doesn't care I like him or not, and he accept I like others.


Just let he know who he is in your heart. For you, let your 2 husband know he's always the 2nd. He'd get used to it.


However, I don't see why when you dead you want to be.... because you know nothing when you die so wherever is the same.
Best bet is if you had children with your first husband..you just tell current husband that you wish to be buried next to the father of your children to avoid any confusion with future generations. ;)





Otherwise, save some real estate and get yourself cremated and avoid the whole issue altogether.
that's harsh !


why would you want to tell your husband that ?


are you not supposed to love him like you loved your first husband ?


get buried near your first husband but not in the same plot , how about when your widower wants to visit your grave ? is he just supposed to forget that your first hubby's there ?


think how you'd feel .
Tell him where you want to go when you die but also let him know that there is also a place next to the pair of you for your current husband to go when he dies.Wow buried between the ex and the present husband.
you tell the solicitor and put it in your will then no one has to know until you are gone





a bit of a mean way to do it but it depends on how understanding your current husband is
now that would really hurt him


for even saying that WOW I would for get about that idea


you would make him feel like sh.... ..


he may never make love to you again after you tell him that


now i need a drink ...post of the day
I'd say ';Good Luck with that one'; to whoever it was. It's almost like cheating isn't it? Like leaving them for someone else. If my partner did that I'd haunt them - well I couldn't cos they'd be dead but I'd do soemthing nasty. Lol. x
it would be very hard but assuming you died first who else would u get buried next to? he cant be hurt if he doesn't have a grave for you to be burried next to of his own.
My grandfather did this. Both my grandfather and his second wife had the conversation before they married each other and each decided they would be buried with their first spouses.
Nothing strange about this.





If he's all crazy you could always say ';Well, you can be buried on the other side of me if you want.';
Just sya .





I wanna be burried next to him .





And then give him a reason..





Maybe you might end up next to him sooner if you tell him that
It does not matter how you tell him, it is going to hurt his feelings so just tell him. You could just put it in your will and not say anything.
If you really can't work out how to tell them put it in your will! He should respect your wishes, plus if its a dual plot already it is already paid for, will save money.
honestly... I would just leave it in the Last Will and Testiment. Besides Statistically your going to out-live him anyways.
You don't, you put it in your will. If you told him before, it may well wreck your present marriage.
Very carefully
There is no easy way, unless you bump off the second husband before you die. Or just hope he dies first!
You might as well just ask for a divorce. Gee, thanks for loving your current hubby! He'll feel great knowing that. :(
don't tell them. tell someone else then they can let your current husband know your wishes.
Just ensure you out live your current husband, then he will never need to know!
You don't need to tell them at all, you make your own arrangements.
Tell them to burry you in the back garden!
Mention it in your will perhaps? or...i dont know make your arrangements before - so he wont find out til you die?
Just a minor point but why would you care? Your dead!
oh wow! that would be a very hard thing to do!





I guess you would just have to be completely honest about it!
Sorry he had a bigger penis?
Don't