How to go about tellin husband I'm not happy and want to leave?

*background* we've been together for about 11yrs, got 2 kids (6 %26amp; 2) all we do is fight, bad days outway the good. There is no stay together for the children cuz to me thats the worst thing i can do.How to go about tellin husband I'm not happy and want to leave?
I like the staying together for the kids situation, but the truth is that it rarely works out in favor of the party that wants out. Just tell him that you want out, you fight too much and you need a break from that tension. Honestly the kids are probably what is ruining your marriage, I see this a lot, never the couple who didn't have kids want to get divorced. but you see that the most important thing now is your happiness and the happiness of your children. That is all you can do. Good Luck, I'm sure that you will come out of this stronger than going in. How to go about tellin husband I'm not happy and want to leave?
If you have not reached the point were you both hate each other, then try salvaging your marriage, you have two kids whose lives you would greatly affect if you decide to divorce. Have you tried marriage counseling on how to deal with the fighting and friction going on between the two? I'm sure there is something deeper that is causing all this fighting. I'm almost sure that communication is broken, he probably doesn't know what you're feeling and you don't know what he is feeling. I strongly suggest that you seek help before making such a rash decision. I understand that you can not stay together just for the kids, but too many people go for the easy way out without thinking of the consequences others will suffer, in this case your kids. If you and your husband both try working at it, but I mean really working into salvaging the relationship, I'm sure you will learn to love each other once again. You will always have ups and downs but its about learning how to deal with in maintaining your relationship alive during the bad times which will keep you together in the long run. Loving someone is not a feeling, it's a decision.





In my seventh year of marriage I was ready to give it all up. Did not want to work in my relationship and just wanted a way out. I finally decided to get help with my husband and it worked. Sure, it's not always a bed of roses, but the good days do outweigh the bad. I don't have any kids yet, but I'm looking forward to it.





Good Luck!
You need to sit down with him, preferably out of the house, or maybe ask a relative to watch the children, and just talk to him. Tell him you are unhappy with your relationship and how often the two of you are arguing, and that you think you should separate for a while. Separating could either improve your relationship or it could show you both that it's time to move on.


I agree that staying together for the children is a bad idea. You don't want to teach your children that marriage is about fighting and anger. They should see their parents happy, and if that means no longer being together in a marriage, than so be it.
your constantly fighting, and like you said why keep your kids through it, talk to your husband tell him sit down shut up and listen i want to leave because im not happy, im sure it will be hard, but go somewhere you can be happy. just dont punish your kids by keeping them away from your husband, maybe a good separation for a while is what yall need, dont file for a divorce until you know for sure its what you both want to do. good luck to you, best of wishes for you and your family
i feel for you


how amazingly difficult this must be for you





1. i think the first step is to make sure the kiddies aren't home one night (arrange for a close relative to take them to a movie etc.)





2. make sure that neither you nor your hubby have had anything to drink (will only make matters worse)





3. explain to him that you feel like you're not getting anything out of the relationship anymore





4. ask him how HE is feeling





5 a. if it is mutual - then plan the divorce together





5 b. if it is not mutual (i.e. he wants to stay together), give him a second chance/ultimatum, and tell him that if he can't do that or if he doesn't try to fix things, you're outta there!





best of luck!!! sorry that was a bit simplistic...
Unfortunately there is no easy way to tell him, you just have to do it. Make sure the kids are out of the house (don't do it while they're asleep as things may get emotional) and sit him down and talk to him. Tell him why you are making the decision and how you want to separate.





Try to talk to a lawyer before you tell him, having that sort of official process started will help you to do it without being too afraid or backing down.





Good for you!
Well this is a tough one, You probably don't communicate well if your always fighting huh? maybe write him a letter and ask him to write back so that either one of you can interfer before reading the entire letter. That allows you both to understand eachothers feelings and think on the letter before writing back. Sorry thats all I got. Good luck!
Did u try some kind of outside help? Do not permit yourself to leave before you really tried everything in your power to prevent from separating this family....remember divorce is easy in some aspect....but sticking with it is hard and trying to work with it. Find the source and get help and if it's still not working ....divorce!
There is no good way to do that. You know him and how he will react, you are the one who will have to decide the best course of action to take.





If this is really what you want then make sure you try to do it civially for the childrens sake. I am the product of a VERY messy divorce and honestly I resent my parents for it.





And make sure you are making the right decision. Hopefully you have taken the initiative to try every step to save the marriage... if not (not like you want my opinion but) you are lazy and shouldnt have married in the first place.





Goodluck
Don't give up! There is always a way to make it work. Divorce is harder than you think. It's doesn't always give you the right answer. It just give you a different one. Be careful. Making things right at home might be hard, and impossible. But please don't think that divorce makes it easier or better.
Try counseling if you can. My folks split up when I was four and it affected my brother and I deeply. I'd strongly advise against it. Of course, if he's a meth dealer and brings strange persons to the home, something that actually poses a direct threat to the kids then you should get out ASAP.
Ok, opting out of a relationship is easy and you owe it to the kids to try couples counceling first. Will he agree to go?? Try it !! Then if it doesn't work at least he knows you have tryed. On the other hand if he is abusive then that is another story!! Good luck
re: There is no stay together for the children cuz to me thats the worst thing i can do.





........you've already done it to your kids! FOR THE SAKE OF YOUR CHILDREN get some professional help or get out before you ruin your kids even more!
just be honest and upfront with him, tell him how you feel and that your mind is made up. try and work out something so you can share custody with the kids and make arrangements to leave.
don't just get a divorce... find out what the reason is for your fighting and try to change that, or get help. you made a vow and should keep that vow. til death do you part, right? divorce is the easy way out.
The only problem you state is that you fight. So, rather than ripping a family apart, why not try something really radical: stop fighting. You don't have to fight if you don't want to fight. So quit it.
I am going through a very similar situation right now. If you ever want to talk you can email me. I just ended up telling him and going to my parents....
WELL IF HE DOES NOT KNOW ALREADY YOU SHOULD SAY SOMETHING AND BE SERIOUS AND CALM SIT HIM DOWN AND TALK TO HIM TELL HIM EXACTLY WHY
you say you want counceling he wont agree and then you say if your going to be like that the marriage is over and its your fault
You just said it. Repeat what you wrote here should be more than adequate.
Just sit down, look him in the eye and tell him what you wrote here.
he must be really stupid if he doesnt know that youre unhappy.
dump his *** and get all his money sister