How do you pick up the pieces again after your husband leaves you for another woman?

I don't know where to start.How do you pick up the pieces again after your husband leaves you for another woman?
you talk with your friends......





you talk with your pastor......





you join a separated and divorced support group.....





you do things FOR YOU.How do you pick up the pieces again after your husband leaves you for another woman?
Was infidelity involved? There are several levels of pain you must be experiencing now. If he cheated on you, then you may be having self-worth issues. Since he left, you may also be experiencing abandonment issues. Since I don't know the whole story, I can only speculate.





I understand this can be devastating. The first thing you need to do is grieve. Let it all out. You deserve to feel whatever you're feeling.


Secondly, start doing small things for yourself, and only you. Maybe a day spa, clothes shopping, or whatever you've been wanting to do for a while.


Third, start making small decisions, then following through. Even if it's something simple like: I'm going to the library at 4PM, no matter what.


This will develop a sense of self-trust again.





One thing that can happen after someone leaves a relationship, especially in the circumstances you describe, is that you start questioning your own decisions.


';If I chose to marry him, I must be wrong about other things too.';


It's ok to let that thought cross your mind, but know that your decisions are based on trusting yourself. If something doesn't work out, that doesn't mean the decision was wrong, it just means that you've learned to be more selective next time.





By gaining a trust in yourself again, you will start to think more clearly. The more small decisions you make, and follow through on, the more you will trust yourself.





Eventually, you will look back without the emotional attachment to the event and realize that his leaving was the best decision for both of you.
Oh man. That sucks. Leave the pieces on the floor. As a matter of fact, throw them in the bucket! Put all kinds of bleach on the pieces. Clean up that mess of pieces. My point is, do whatever it takes to heal and start a new. Learn from it and move on. Some things that helped me heal were therapy, self-esteem support groups/friends (not the slut ones), self help books, daily walks to purposely remember the beauty, the simple beauty we take for granite and thank the universe out loud for every day and everything that is created in our presence starting with yourself. The list goes on. Oh, and if you can help it, Stay away from him, take his phone number out of your phone and do not, do not receive calls from him for at least a year! Take this year to heal and be proactive in your time of healing.
i think the best way is to learn to accept reality. we tend to be hurt bc we tend to envision our significant as the ideal. the more they stray from the ';ideal';, we wonder what when wrong and question ourselves. The quicker we can learn to accept reality that they are not the ideal the quicker we can learn to take on the responsibility to rediscover happiness again. i'm sure at one point the love was real, but a solid relationship stands the test of time. its easy for me to say he's not the one and that you are much better off, but only you can start the healing process. When we sit and dwell on the situation we become delusional of the situation. Its better to face reality and accept it for what it is and then move on. Anger is a good motivator to take action in your life. I'm not trying to be cruel, but I really want to light a fire in you to do something. I don't have the exact answers on what you should do, but hopefully I can start with changing your perspective on the situation. what you can start with is what have you learned in all this so you will be more selective in a mate that is deserving of you. I'm pulling for you.
You thank God for sending this man out of your life. You realize that you did nothing wrong. You start to heal by letting it all out crying, asking why, never getting the answer you want because it is simple he was selfish. Then you work on yourself mind, body and soul. You enrich your thinking by reading and occupying your time effectively, then you take adavantage and focus on being healthy by eating right and exercising (this will make you feel better), then you thank God everyday he allows you to take a breath and count your many blessings. Time and patience is what you need and not to blame yourself. Forgive him and move on.
Oh, sweetie, sometimes you gotta scrape yourself up with a spoon 'cuz there ain't much left.....





But to start with, do good things for yourself. Even if it's something as minor as taking a hot bath. Do you have kids? If so, concentrate on them.





Be nice to yourself. Understand that, regardless of how you feel, it probably wasn't all you. I always said that I would accept 50% of the blame for my marriage falling apart BUT I WOULD NOT ACCEPT MORE THAN 50%! Don't you either!





Start out getting through five minutes at a time; When you can do that, get through 15 at a time. Soon you will work yourself up to getting through a whole day.





In the meantime, take care of yourself, be good to yourself, live well and be happy. That means different things to different people, so see how it applies to you.





And remember, this too shall pass.
Hurt, anger, depression, and acceptance are a few of what will happen.


Deal with it as it happens and hopefully you have good friends over to listen the next few months ahead.


Once that's done remake yourself from scratch. Get a new hairdo, new clothes, and re-evaluate options. Utilize your friends carefully as it would be disastrous to be overly repetitive. Acceptance will come but it will be depending on how much of a loss your husband really was. Staying busy is the key. Work longer hours or spend more time with your kids, immediate family or friends..
Well, you can see by the responses that people care, and that should make you feel better. There are some good people out there.





You probably have all kinds of feelings about how inadequate you must be. What did she have that you did not.





Try to forget this. Who cares? Let them have each other. As for you, it opens up a lot of new possibilities. Once you get over the hurt, you will see it. Stay on your feet, and do well. The hurt feelings will pass.
One piece at a time. there isn't any quick fixes , no cure alls, best thing to do is pick yourself up, move forward, when you get kicked down again, pick up and do it, sooner it will get better and the pain will subside. it takes a long time but you will get past it and find that it has made you stronger.
If you have any children, then you aren't allowed to date until they are 18. Divorce only makes you unmarried, not single. Every man that you bring into your house damages your children. If you need to get laid, then go to a bar and get laid. Never bring any other man into your house. When you said 'I do' and got pregnant, you gave up every right to happiness that you had. Your children come first, always. That means that you will be alone from now on.
I am so sorry.





If it were me, I would get all of the anger and sadness out first (and not dwell there too long). One way that works for me is to write my feelings and thoughts out about the situation - in all of the gory, ugly detail with all of the awful feelings spelled out, no holds barred. When I am done - I light it on fire and watch it burn. It has helped me with several big problems.





Then, I would make a plan for what I want out of my life. Think as big as you want and write it all down. What are your dreams and goals? Likes and dislikes? What do you like to do? Make a list of places you want to see. Then, pick one and do it and keep picking if you want and until you are done.





Hope this helps.
Although it might seem like you're not ready right now, but move on by getting a friend of the opposite sex that you can talk to and go out with. That helps a lot. It doesn't have to be someone to get into a relationship with, but someone that will help you through this time. It worked for me.
Cry a lot, spend time with friends, take time off work, maybe a holiday and eventually you麓ll find that life can still be fun. and then you麓ll realise he麓s a loser and someone better will come along.


same thing happened to me, no easy way but make sure you get out of it learning something and being a better stronger person
In time you will be able too. I know it hurts because I been there but now I look back and I am so happy now. You need to get up get your hair done cut whatever makes you feel good. His loss.. Make sure you don't show him how you are feeling. I just prayed and said to hell with him. Now my mom when my dad left her she cried for 10 yrs no lie. But it will get better tell yourself this.
Start to focus on being happy again, and relieving yourself of the rats, such as your husband.
it's obvious divorce before he decides to use you again. you don't deserve the same label as a front door matt.
I wouldn't either - So sorry to hear this
just cry until you get sick of crying, he is in the wind....gone !!
First do lots of kegels....second work out really hard....3rd boob implants.